Smells Like Teen Spit

I am back in the classroom!

It's temporary, natch. I needed the extra fundage, after the accident. I got a call from my old department chair with the news that one of my former colleagues will be out for a few weeks post-rotater cuff surgery, and would I mind filling in for him while he is sidelined on the proverbial pedagogical bench? I said, "Sure thing," and that was over a week ago now.

It's like riding a bicycle. One naturally falls back into teaching, timing bathroom breaks to fall conveniently into the prep period and lunch, and busting out the old "teacher's stare." I messed up the first few days, and my need for coffee resulted in a mad dash to the little teachers' room in the six minutes allotted between classes. Which is not as easy as it sounds. This is a high school after all, and those seniors are all seven feet tall and four feet wide. You take your life into your own hands when you venture out during a passing period.

All is well. Old colleagues poke their heads through the classroom door to catch up on family news and gossip. Former students turn up out of the woodwork to and share all of their life's ambitions and drudgery. Freshmen are still squirmy and immature. Seniors still think they should not have to do anything the entire spring semester.

Still, I will be happy when I do not have to be up, dressed, in full make-up and properly caffeinated before sunrise.

Nine Years Ago, Today

It's been nine years since I became a mom for the first time. I'm still a bit bewildered at it all; trying to figure out if I am doing things correctly. These kids don't come with a set of instructions, you know. My little chubby baby has turned into a tall, lanky, smarty-pants who is not too big to cuddle with his mommy.

Happy birthday, Connor James!

Normalcy, Interruptus

That not so clear picture, taken with the camera of an old and generally worthless phone, is Hank. I loved Hank. Right now Hank is sitting in a lot somewhere, waiting the appraisal of an insurance adjuster. Lets just call it "life support." I'm pretty sure they are going to tell me that I should pull the plug on Hank. He broke his front axle, after all.

I'm not going to say a lot about the accident, except that it wasn't my fault and it was "scary." It happened less than a quarter mile from my house -- no kidding -- at a four-way stop. Well, I stopped, and I had the right of way. The other guy didn't so much as stop as blow right through the stop sign. And he had a wife and three kids in the car, including an infant who was sitting on his wife's lap, in the front seat, where the airbags deployed.

What happened immediately after the accident was strange. A large group of people had gathered around, seeing as it happened in front of a school, which had just let out. It took me a few moments to figure out, after I had called the police, that the wife and children were fleeing down the street. I'll let you place your own bets on why. Thankfully, the man stayed behind, even though his immigrant status and the fact that he had neither license or proof of insurance guaranteed him a slew of legal issue well beyond the citations he received related to the accident itself.

Ah, well... He admitted fault, both cars were towed away, my back is sore and tight, and I am in the hands of the insurance people now. Oh, and to tide me over, I have this:


I hate to admit it, but I don't miss Hank all that much.

Coming Back to Life (or some derivative thereof)

I am feeling much better. Still have a runny nose and a more annoying hacking type couch. I'm pretty sure i have lost every ounce of cardio strength I had pre-PT. Speaking of which, I excused myself from PT. Eric is working a temporary days shift, and I have no child care to speak of. PT, DONE.

I am feeling better, but I realize that I need to keep up with the stretching and strength training. Yeah... maybe tomorrow. Or not.

Eric is now sick, and I can tell he feels like crap. He's not saying a word though, perhaps in fear of what I might say after he asked me how long I was going to "milk it" during one of my worst days last week. Ummm, yeah. Don't worry, I threw a bunch of baby food at him to show my displeasure. But I do feel bad for him. He's looking pretty bad, and he's been working a lot to top it off. I hope he gets better soon. I'm not a fan of snot.

On another front, I am making soakers, shorties, and longies. It's taking me too long to get them complete, between this eBay venture, being sick, and my Anatomy & Physiology class. When I get enough stock, I plan to open a boutique here.

Here's a sample:

The Truth as I Know It

When Mommy gets sick, has a fever, a sore throat, chest congestion and wheezing, nobody cares. Life goes on.

Noteworthy

1. When you toss a baby up in the air, make sure you catch the baby before her head (her VERY hard head) smacks into your nose. It will hurt a lot, your nose will make a strange noise and then swell, and you will spend the rest of the day with a face ache. The baby will think it's all quite funny.

2. Say you are a recent graduate from high school. You are a freshly-minted adult with a new set of freedoms. You are under the drinking age. Do not create a Facebook account wherein you display many pictures of yourself partaking in underage drinking and bong hits. And if you do, remember to make your account private. I guarantee, your eighth grade Language Arts teacher will see it. It will confirm every prediction she ever had for you -- particularly the getting arrested part.

3. Never drink coffee after five o'clock in the evening. Especially when you are hosting a yard sale the next day.

4. Before you begin that online quiz for your online class, double-check to make sure that you have read the required materials. And if you think that hurriedly looking through the textbook while the timer ticks away will help you pass, then you are correct. 84% for material you never bothered to read.

5. A well-fitting bra and a brow wax go a long way. Just sayin'...

6. When there are three gallon containers of milk in the refrigerator, all at varying levels of goneness, somebody needs to do some checking and tossing. I vote my husband.

7. Being an adult is not as cool as you thought it would be when you were younger.

Feeding Frenzy

Because a meal is never completely over until all visible parts of Baby are covered with food. The appearance of the pet fly is just icing on the proverbial cake.