1. When you toss a baby up in the air, make sure you catch the baby before her head (her VERY hard head) smacks into your nose. It will hurt a lot, your nose will make a strange noise and then swell, and you will spend the rest of the day with a face ache. The baby will think it's all quite funny.
2. Say you are a recent graduate from high school. You are a freshly-minted adult with a new set of freedoms. You are under the drinking age. Do not create a Facebook account wherein you display many pictures of yourself partaking in underage drinking and bong hits. And if you do, remember to make your account private. I guarantee, your eighth grade Language Arts teacher will see it. It will confirm every prediction she ever had for you -- particularly the getting arrested part.
3. Never drink coffee after five o'clock in the evening. Especially when you are hosting a yard sale the next day.
4. Before you begin that online quiz for your online class, double-check to make sure that you have read the required materials. And if you think that hurriedly looking through the textbook while the timer ticks away will help you pass, then you are correct. 84% for material you never bothered to read.
5. A well-fitting bra and a brow wax go a long way. Just sayin'...
6. When there are three gallon containers of milk in the refrigerator, all at varying levels of goneness, somebody needs to do some checking and tossing. I vote my husband.
7. Being an adult is not as cool as you thought it would be when you were younger.
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